OK, Social Media, You Win. Sort Of

I’ve never used social media.

While that may seem impossible, it’s true.

I never set out to make some sort of stand against social media. I’ve just never been very……….well……….social.

Social media didn’t exist when I was in high school or even college. And, no, I’m not too old to figure out how to turn on my Google machine. I just didn’t grow up using these platforms. When I was a kid, social media meant having my friend down the street come over and play Nintendo. 

I always set up accounts for whatever the latest iteration of the new world order was. Myspace, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter. But after a handful of times logging in, I would always come to the same inevitable conclusion “What the fuck is the point of this?” 

I already had friends. And I actually saw them, in real life, every weekend. We played poker together and talked about things going on in our lives. Real things. In-person. If there was someone else in my life I felt the need to connect to, why wouldn’t I just call or text them?

I didn’t feel like anything was missing from my life and didn’t feel like I had time for more. I didn’t understand where others were coming up with the time to spend on these platforms or how my buddy knew about my aunt’s new Siamese cat, Copper Joe. Logging on and telling everyone what I did that day felt like a part-time job I didn’t need. And I didn’t really give a shit about what everyone else did with their day either. 

As more people hopped on the social media party bus, I noticed the odd conversations around me. People would begin talking to each other in mid-conversation. They would pick up right where their direct messages had left off. Everyone was talking about the same things. They all had the same information, albeit mostly worthless, in my opinion. People would ask what I thought about things, like Bill and Jeanette’s divorce. My response was usually something like, “Who the fuck is Bill and Jeanette?”

When I was with friends and family, they seemed distracted and not present. I didn’t understand the point of going to the park if, the whole time there, they were on their phones looking at pictures of someone else at the same park. Parents sitting staring at their phones instead of playing with their kids was not just common but the norm. To me, trying to capture the perfect image for my Facebook moment sounded stressful at best. I just wanted to enjoy whatever activity I was doing, not publish a visual diary.

I didn’t start out abstaining from social media because I was smart enough to be aware of some adverse impact it could have on my mental health, but I began to notice just this on some of those around me. I know people who would sit for hours and endlessly scroll through the lives of others—looking at and evaluating other peoples’ homes, vacation pics, and nights out. Everyone around me seemed to be more and more concerned with what was going on in the lives of others and less concerned with their own issues. It was like everybody was keeping a scorecard for everybody else. Similar to the stats on the back of baseball cards I had when I was a kid, except these cards were updated in real-time, and people seemed to be taking the stats very personally. 

It also seemed as though everyone had one of two available opinions. They were either for or against a topic. But the art of discussing or debating specific points on that topic seemed lost. There was no middle ground, just opposing sides of two different social media mobs. 

I’m sure this sounds exaggerated to the social media butterflies, and they probably think that they don’t fall into this camp. But I believe that people who heavily use social media have a distorted view of things, explicitly because of the time spent on these sites and apps. As someone who, until recently, spent precisely zero minutes a day on social media, it seems accurate. Not everyone falls under the worst-case scenario, but some do. 

I’m not breaking news here. A lot of people believe social media has adverse effects on people. These companies have even attracted the attention of Congress, which is now looking into the impact social media can have on the mental health of its users, particularly children. There are also questions about whether these platforms can influence important events like elections and whether or not they have too much control over the information disseminated among their users. There are sure to be more accusations added to this list in coming years. 

So, why would someone who has gone this long without social media begin using it?

There has never been any doubt about these companies’ ability to help other businesses reach their customers. Some of them are marketing machines with advertising platforms that seem to print money. As someone now interested in growing an audience, there is nowhere else to be except on social media. 

It took half a day to figure out what email I used to set up my Twitter account so I could reset the password, but I am now active on Twitter. It still feels unnatural and somewhat burdensome. I will go days without remembering to open the app. How people become addicted to social media is still puzzling to me. After ten minutes, I’m completely exhausted. 

I am, however, beginning to see and understand some additional benefits aside from just advertising purposes for companies or building an audience that can be monetized. I have connected with and learned from others who share similar interests, whom I would never have met without Twitter. I have discovered information I would have never found or found a year too late. I’m sure I am just scratching the surface, and more benefits will present themselves as time passes.

While I still believe social media is overused and used in unhealthy ways much of the time, I am coming around to its possible benefits. As with anything, a measured approach is the best. But just for the record, I still don’t give a shit about your cousin’s nephew’s birthday party or your new $140 Lululemon joggers.